A (loving) copywriting smackdown for Health Coaches


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I'm like, 'Dang, I don't know what to write'.

Not because I don't have anything to say, rather, I get caught up in choosing what words to use.

Sometimes, rather than placing a focus on being real and speaking to you in blogs and social media and emails, I instead get caught up on how clever the words sound (or whether they sound clever enough).

Do you feel me?

*Awkwardly looks around*

Well, I have some thoughts on copywriting for your health coaching business, and I want to share them with you. It's helpful to apply this principle to everything you write in your health business, but especially to your sales messages - the copy you write that draws people to work with you.

The tip?

Speak like a real person.

Ok. Show's over. You can pack up and go home now.


Just kidding.... There's totally more to it. But I'm not kidding about simplicity.

Seriously - the trick is to be real.

Broken down, what I mean by 'Be real' is use real words that people use in the real world on a daily basis. Become very aware of the words you're using, and notice if you're using 'fluff' statements or industry jargon.


Here's three principles to live by when writing for your health coaching business.


rid thy self of Fluff statements

In year 12 at school, I was a total English nerd. I loved Pride and Prejudice, and I took two extension units of English. 17-year-old me thought the goal of writing was to impress teachers with my 'expansive' vocabulary. So, I went nuts and peppered my essays with fancy-pants words. 

Surprising as it may therefore seem, you can imagine my surprise when an essay came back from marking with the sole comment from my teacher reading 'Turgid'. My delicate literary sensibilities were injured. After I pulled my jaw up off the floor, I Googled 'Turgid' (it means 'of language or style: Tediously pompous or bombastic' - LOL!). Then I kept writing. 

I now always remember (but still sometimes forget) to try and not be turgid.

BTW - Does anyone else see the irony of turgid being an example of what it means? ;)

Anyways, fluff statements are exactly that: Turgid.

I caught myself 'being turgid' in my Discovery Calls Course - previously called 'Soulful Discovery Calls'. That name is super fluffy. Even though it's how I want sales calls to feel for you, it doesn't do you justice by communicating how the course can help you - to feel more confident in yourself as a saleswoman - in a down-to-earth way.

Solution to fluff statements

You can tell a fluff statement by how it feels. If it doesn't sit right with you, it's probably a bit of bum fluff. You just have to be honest with yourself.

I changed the name to 'Discovery Calls for Health Coaches' - a far more practical (and bleedingly obvious) name. I've also began updating the copy, to show more clear, tangible benefits rather bamboozling you with industry jargon.

Which leads me to...

cut the Industry jargon:

In case you haven't noticed, the longer you hang out in 'entrepreneur land,' the bigger the temptation becomes to speak like your online peers.

I do it. We all do it.

Speaking in a lingo your customer's aren't familiar with may isolate them, and if they can't understand you, you'll lose them. An example of a jargon statement a health coach might use is 'I help you become your best, most vibrant and awesome self!'.

Do you know what that actually means? 'Cause I sure as shanks don't!

Solution to industry jargon:

Use tangible, real-world words. Communicate real solutions (or examples of real solutions). Don't worry about trying to be clever. In fact, forget being clever altogether. Get the words down on the page, in whatever way they land. You can pretty them up later - just make sure they give the reader a clear understanding of what you can help them do.

So our jargon statement 'Become your best, most vibrant and awesome self!' could instead become 'Stop doing what you think you should be doing. Take up the Italian class, book that ticket to Rio and ask out your sexy co-worker. Live recklessly ;)'


Cull flabby words

There are some words that just don't need to be included at all to get the same message across. These are flabby words. The words above in bold italics are flabby, because they're unnecessary; they add nothing of value to the message but space. 

Solution to flabby words

The best grammar tool I've found on the web is Hemingway. This cute lil fella goes beyond culling flabby words. He helps you:

  • Choose simpler words
  • Replace adverbs with powerful verbs
  • Restructure passive sentences (I.e. sentences that aren't to-the-point)

It's not something you need to use all the time, but I'd recommend running your coaching sales page through it, and some of your blog posts too. The benefit of Hemingway is that your writing will improve as you use it. It's also free. What's not to love?

If you don't want to use a program to help you write, start by simplying critically analysing your work. Yep, that means reading through a post fully, after you've written it (I know, I know). Start being critical about the words you're using, and challenge yourself to see how many words you can cull, while still maintaining a sentence that makes complete sense. After a bit of practice, it will become second nature.

So, that's my loving copywriting smackdown for you. Put these tips into practice to start sounding like a normal human who can deliver real results, and someone your potential clients can connect and relate with.

Moral of the story? Don't be turgid, yo ;)

Got questions about copywriting for health coaches? Any tips of your own to share? Orrrrr if you're simply a legend who wants to say 'hey,' I see you too - drop a comment below.

Copywriting for health coaches

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